Nepal 33, The Ceremony

It’s time to tell you about Durgas ceremony that happened before I went to Bardia.
The reason Durga is in Nepal at this time is a sad one. His mother passed away last year, there are stages to grieving and Durga was here to complete one of these with his brother.
Mourning officially ends at the one year anniversary of the loved one’s death, at which time the family conducts a long ceremony. I was not present for much of this but, Durga’s family (the ones that can get there) congregate to remember. Durga and his brother had their heads shaven for the final day of the remembrance, food and prayer ceremony.
I joined on the last day and was encouraged to take photos, of the occasion. It was held in the yard and there was a picture of Durgas mother surrouded by food and flowers set up on a table.

Durgas daughter in law Deepa explained that what was unusual was that the priest conducting the ceremony was Buddhist. Both Hindu and Buddist religion seem to dovetail together and both believe in reincarnation. What struck me most was how relaxed it all was, the immediate family in prayer in front of the Priest, the rest sat around chatting, eating and in the case of the childen, playing, running about or the older ones on their phones (some things don’t change).

There were leaf bowls of flower heads which were handed round to the congregation to be held in prayer and then discarded before the next round of prayers. The ceremony continued all morning.

Afterwards Durga and his brother graced everyone with tikka on the forehead, this time yellow for something sad. Durga asked if I wanted to be annointed and of course I said yes. It was a very moving day.

Late in the afternoon a tray of cotton wicks is set alight, to release the soul from the earth-bound plane where it has been wandering for the previous year.

Afterwards everyone was chatting and I was introduced to various people including a number of aunts who found me very entertaining for some reason! They asked about my family, I cannot explain my relationship to Barney very easily and it seems safer to say I’m married. (Sorry Barney!)
One woman was so insistant asking me questions, with a mix of Nepali and sign language, I tried to answer her. Durga did tell me later they got the gist of what I was saying, Yay!
They were intrigued that I don’t wear any jewellery, I found out they thought I was a widow because I had no gold. They next thing I knew they were putting their gold bracelets and necklaces on me. They even tried to put earrings on me which made me yelp as the holes closed years ago! Then there was an excited frenzy as they all wanted photos taken with me. They all fell about laughing when I pretended to do a runner with their gold!

At the end I took my plate to be washed and had a pause for thought, here were two women working very hard. Both stick thin and they didn’t seem involved with the family…are they servants, paid help? (I hope so). Different caste? not sure! I will have to ask Durga later.

I’ve had a wonderful time with Durga’s family and later today I’m going to dinner with them again (I don’t seem to stop eating ever!) This will be the last time…for this trip anyway!

Now I’m all caught up with events, Im heading back to Kathmandhu with Durga for a couple more days before he heads home. Not sure how I will spend Christmas but, I wish you all a happy one!