Sumatra – A Wedding, A Baby Shower and A Funeral

This is a long post.

First, I aught to mention going to Church on Sunday. This is still a relevant practice here. So we went with our host family. The preparation for this event was a little challenging as between Tatjana and I we would probably make a scarecrow proud, Tatjana has one pair of trousers and one pretty top and I have fraying marked tops with casual linen slacks. Anyway Ibu’s mother was dressed up smartly in a Kabaya, which is a bright coloured Lacey top and worn with a sarong

Hmm our clothes would not do so we were offered a Kabaya each and we were transformed!

Ibu (dressed in a normal skirt and top) headed off on her motorbike to take someone to the church and was going to come back for us so, we started walking. My skirt/sarong was narrowed at the bottom, so I couldn’t walk with a natural gait, it is designed to make you walk demurelyp. I hitched it up a bit. (Tatjana’s was stretchy) The Kabaya  top is lined and so I was very quickly hot. If you know me this is definitely not my style, pink lace and a skirt!

Anyway we clearly looked like we were off to church and a couple offered us a lift in their van and I was grateful for that as walking or riding on the back of a motorbike would have been a real challenge.

The church was quite plain and the service much like any other service I have been to, made even more boring because of my lack of understanding. I did however enjoy the three choirs though, male and two female (one older and one younger) and I was surprised to hear a lovely choral rendition to the music of ABBA’s Chiquita!

Tatjana and I fluffed up the collection, there were 3 and we were supposed to put a small amount in each. However we only had one largish denomination Indonesian Rupee note each, we had to pretend for the second and third collection.

A few days later we were invited to what would equate to a Baby Shower, this ceremony is held when the mum to be is 7 months pregnant with the first child. For this we had to wear a sarong.

There was a master of ceremonies of a sort and he did a great deal of speaking, then the couple where fed by the parents and relatives. Everyone sat around the walls of the home and there was about 70 people present.

After this we were all fed, it was rice, pork (the entire animal) in pork blood sauce and fish and pot was quite spicy. The food just kept coming but, it was all quite relaxed. I find sitting cross legged impossible and it is not polite to put your feet out so I struggled a bit, constantly fidgeting.

Then later after everyone had eaten, the men smoked and the women chewrd betel nut. Ibu who doesn’t do it often offered me the chance to try it and so I did! I don’t smoke or take drugs other than a little alcohol occasionally or caffeine in tea/coffee. I knew Betel is considered on a par with smoking (sometimes taken with tobacco) and I thought I’d see what the fuss is about. I was given a minute amount wrapped in a betel leaf and put it in my mouth.  It is disgusting, very astringent and bitter. My mouth was producing copious amounts of saliva and I had to spit it into a tissue.

It is a stimulant and can produce a mild euphoria. Often the women have orange red lips and stained teeth. I probably looked like Dracula as it dribbled down my chin.

After this various people start to speak, wishing the couple well with their baby. Tatjana was asked to speak and she did in Indonesian, wishing “them a good marriage, healthy children, success at school,  lots of fish, chicken and pork!” The best she could do with a limited vocabulary!

Later we met this delightful woman, 93 years old who wanted to learn English.

The very next day we went to a wedding, only we didn’t know it until half way through the ceremony. Ibu said we were going to lunch. This was also true as there was a lot of food again.

The event was outside a church and we were watching this very serious woman, she was possibly in her forties and had the most stern expression, we thought she must be some kind of dignitary because she was giving envelopes to people. She didn’t smile at all. We then found out this was a wedding and second marriage for both parties, theceremony was not actually the official marriage, which had happened about six months before in church but, a Batak wedding ceremony.

Then the guests starting draping fabric around the couples shoulders, these are woven and apparently some are very expensive so if the couple fall on hard times they can sell them. At this point the bride began to smile and what a transformation.

After the wedding we walked back home and an ambulance came flying passed apparently bringing the body of someone who had died to family thier home. Ibu knows everything that is happening in her neighborhood! On the road was a stick with the a red plastic bag hanging (and red thing will do)! This denotes the place of the house where the funeral starts. It was rather disturbing as there were wails of grief coming from inside the house and people sat somberly on chairs outside.

The next day there was a tribute the roadside. The for the next two days the ceremony continued with very loud music.

The next day we escaped to Pea Farm again!